Six Reasons to Live by John Burgess

I recently read a statistic that said, on average, SIX or more people are deeply affected by each specific suicide. "Deeply affected" meaning the majority of them may never fully recover (That's not to mention the tens and hundreds of people each of us know.) These six people, multiplied by the over 1 million suicides each year in the world, means that over 6 million will probably spend the rest of their life wondering "why" they felt like they could no longer live this life, "how" they didn't recognize the warning signs and "when" will the pain ever go away?

The answer to that one is inevitably never. Sure, it might dull over time, but those six people will never again be the same person they were before a loved one committed suicide.

Let's pretend that you're the one contemplating suicide; think of who those six people would be to you. Maybe it's your mother or father, your brother or sister, boyfriend/girlfriend, best friend, classmate, teacher, coach, guidance counselor, or maybe somebody you haven't even had the chance to meet yet.

Fast forward to a year after your suicide. Picture your mother of father doing the routine grocery shopping It's a warm spring day and after months of therapy, they're finally beginning to feel like life isn't over. After getting all the groceries, your mom/dad is standing in the check out line waiting for their turn. Behind them is a young mother with a toddler who keeps insisting on running off. This toddler happens to have the same name as you. The young mother calls after her rambunctious child. Your parent's throat closes and their heart begins to race as that false hope returns that maybe, even for a split second, it would be you behind them instead of the little kid. Of course it isn't, you're dead. Now imagine the returning heartbreak your parent must be experiencing, as it once again hits them that you're truly gone.

What about your little brother/sister? It's their first day of junior high and the teachers all make them fill out the standard "About Me" questionnaires. Your sibling is breezing through them all, quickly scribbling down the same answers they've been using since first grade. That is, until they reach the question about siblings. Their eyes frantically dart around the room, wishing to make an emergency exit. What do they put? Do they write nothing and pretend like you never existed, or hope that there's enough space to explain how they once had an older brother/sister, but not anymore. What about when they grow up, and they have to explain to their children why they don't have an aunt/uncle?

Onto your best friend, the one you've grown up with since you were 4 years old. You thought she would be okay without you, but you were wrong. She keeps only to herself because nobody else could possibly understand what she's going through. Her other friends ignore her because they don't know what to say or act around her now. Imagine graduating from high school and your best friend is sitting in the middle of the crowd, hiding beneath her cap as she silently cries. The seat next to her is empty, and she knows who was supposed to be there; you.

Finally, the person you might not have met yet. "How will they be affected if I'm dead? They don't even know me. They won't know that I'm gone." You're right, they don't know you, and they won't feel your absence...yet. My father took his own life when I was 7 years old, in 1987. Each person with whom I share my father's story is touched. His death continues to affect thousands of people he never met... over 20 years later.

You see, with all these examples, all lives are connected. You can't just take one person out of the picture and expect life to carry on like nothing is wrong. No matter how minuscule you might feel in this world, you have touched infinite lives simply by existing. Whether you realize it or not, there are tons of people who care about you and whose happiness depends on YOU. Life may seem like more than you can handle sometimes, but you never know when it's going to turn around. Only time will tell, and in order to do that, you must allow yourself the gift of living.

In the meantime, there is ALWAYS help available, all you have to do is reach out for it. 1 in 5 Americans will suffer from depression in their lifetime, so don't ever think that you're alone. Above all else, you shouldn't be ashamed of asking for help. People care and want you to LIVE. Even if you don't feel like it's worth it, do it for those who love you. People kill themselves to get rid of the pain, but pain doesn't end with suicide. Suicide only intensifies the pain in the people that are left behind. I'd like to leave you with one of my favorite Reliant K lyrics; "Live your life for those that you love".

By John Burgess